He is from a small town in upstate New York. She is from the American West. The events that led to their joining were against all odds. She swears he’s an angel. He swears she’s a goddess. Together, they have never taken one second of their time together for granted. Where does this harmony come from in a world of conflict and entitlement?
In younger days, they looked at marriage as a contract, a “deal”, that could be broken, should both parties agree. The trick was in keeping the agreement. Now, they both look at marriage as a covenant, because a contract is a weak agreement. As a covenant, marriage has become unconditional. In that, it is sacred and steadfast.
From an agreement in a mere contract, comes scar tissue. Both of them brought enough scarring into the marriage to know that making a simple deal will never bring on the kind of trust and unconditional caring that a covenant can offer. Both of them agree that a covenant means giving, not taking. It means communication, not shunning. It means trusting, not fear. It is in the mind of all things good that this marriage thrives. It has taken over a half of a century of real life experience to bring them to this point of happiness; a happiness both of them believe they don’t deserve. In that, humility takes them the rest of the way into this happiness. One partner does not supersede the other.
In their past, they have walked the same path of hurt in being a subject of possession. They have both stumbled in tear drenched memories, forever asking, “Why?” They were finding no answers to put a foundation to the misery. It has taken a lifetime for them both to come together in this place; a place of mutual respect, profound communication, and an appreciation that their youth could never discover in its gullibility.
Within this blog, this couple will explore the psychological mechanisms that work in relationships that so many couples take for granted. Finding a marriage that is incombustible has been a lifelong process. In the heart of this journey, there are secrets that took them a half of a century to discover.
This is where the reader comes in. These secrets belong in the real world, they belong to you, the reader. Share with us now, what makes a marriage work.
Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone. It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time. Made new” –Ursula K LeGuin.
Take a Walk With Me 